


It's part of my chemistry, this jealousy

by AgingPhangirl (Madophelia)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Tree, Fluff, Jealous Dan, M/M, and phil is a troll, dan has a vivid imagination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 01:43:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12924633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madophelia/pseuds/AgingPhangirl
Summary: Phil arranges a guy in a kilt to deliver their Christmas tree when Dan is away, it's not really his fault if he imagines the worst is it?





	It's part of my chemistry, this jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> So turns out the delivery option from the place Phil ordered the tree from with the kilted delivery guy also makes you pick a date and time, so he purposely chose a day when Dan was out at that talk and... 
> 
> Well the short thing is that this is entirely @charlottekath and @ineverhadmyinternetphase fault because they chanted Jealous Dan in our gc and I caved. I should be working on my actual novel and here I am writing more Jealous!Dan fic. I am weak.

"I ordered the tree," Phil says over breakfast. 

"Ordered it?" 

"Yeah." Phil sips coffee and acts like that isn't a strange thing to say. 

"From…?" 

Phil looks up from his laptop, perched on the edge of the dining table. They've tried to ban electronics during meals in the interest of being fully functioning adults but somehow they keep slipping. 

Phil takes hold of the laptop by the screen and flips it around to face him. 

"Here. It's coming on Tuesday." 

Phil stands up from the table, takes his cereal bowl with him and Dan glances down at the screen. 

It takes him all of two seconds to see the problem. 

"A fucking kilted delivery guy?" Dan yells, following Phil into the kitchenette. 

Phil shrugs, "It was the only option." 

"Sure." 

Phil grins and turns around to rinse his bowl. 

"Phil." 

He does not turn around. 

"Phil, I'm being serious, what the hell? You picked Tuesday as the delivery date?" 

"Shouldn't I have?" 

Phil has that irritating tone in his voice where he knows exactly what Dan is getting at but he's going to make him work for it, going to make Dan say all the petulant immature things in his head right now. Just to hear how ridiculous they sound out loud. 

"You know that's the night I'm at that talk thing." 

"Oh," Phil says, an air of forced nonchalance in him as he turns around, wiping his hands on a tea towel. "Yeah, I guess it is." 

"Well?" 

"Sorry?" Phil says, "I didn't realise you were that invested in seeing the tree delivered. I'll wait for you to decorate it if you like?" 

There's a tiny smirk at the corner of Phil's mouth. If Dan didn't know Phil so well he might never have seen it. But it's there.

"Don't bother." He says, turning away. 

"Okay," Phil shrugs, "I won't."

Dan knows Phil is being a troll. He knows he's purposely winding him up. It's exactly why Phil had mentioned it at breakfast and then turned the screen to let him see for himself. He likes it when the flush rises in Dan's face just a little bit and he fights to suppress his jealous tendencies. 

Dan won't give him the satisfaction and leaves the room instead, the faint echo of Phil's laughter following him down the stairs. 

-

He really does try not to dwell on it. It's ridiculous of him to start feeling that stab of jealously in the pitt of his stomach at the thought of some muscled stranger in a kilt coming to their apartment while he's out. He's probably bring the tree in alone, big arms straining under the weight as Phil stands and watches, helpless while this capable and manly specimen enters their home to erect a tree. 

He'll place it in the spot in their living room they've designated for it and Phil will stand and direct him to turn it this way and that. The man will oblige, catching Phil's eye as they find the perfect angle and Phil will look at both him and the tree appreciatively. 

Phil will probably offer him a drink. He's a nice guy, and this person is a guest in their home. The man will look about, seeing whether this lithe and pretty Phil has a significant other anywhere to be found and, finding no one is there, accept Phil's offer of a drink without hesitation--Dan needs to stop his mind wandering. 

He can't help himself before he's googling the place Phil bought the tree from on his own laptop. Hunting around to see if he can find pictures of the burly delivery men. Just to put his mind at rest that they aren't some sort of aggressive adonis come to steal his boyfriend. 

They have an instagram. Which is something dan wishes he hadn't found out. 

There are half-naked photos of buff men stood by aesthetic trees and Dan wants to vomit. 

This cannot be happening. 

Just stop looking, he tells himself. Just close the website and stop all of this madness, it can't possibly be as bad as it seems. 

-

Phil mentions the delivery a few times over the next couple of days and Dan tries not to give him the satisfaction of seeing the scowl on his face. He also tries not to let his mind run with what happens after Phil offers the guy a cup of coffee, but that is less successful. 

-

When tuesday rolls around and he's headed to the talk, he hovers by the front door unable to make himself leave without some sort of conversation about it. Surprisingly, Phil does stop him for a quick hug without Dan needs to request it.

"You're going to be great," he says, mistaking Dan's reluctance to go with nerves. 

"Yeah," Dan says, "I know." 

"And when you get back we'll have a tree!"

Dan purses his lips, pouting slightly. "Yep." his voice is curt, clipped in a kind of pointed way Phil seems to miss. 

"What time… um, will you be back?" 

Dan narrows his eyes, "why?" 

Phil looks away, "No reason just… you know, so I know when to expect you." 

"I dunno," he says, "not late." 

"Okay. Have fun." 

Phil kisses him once and ushers him out of the door. 

-

Dan coasts through the talk. He's not saying anything he hasn't already, it's mostly all practised already and he's posed for photos so many times at this point that he can do it on auto pilot. His mind drifts as he tries to recreate his poster so that he misses it by a mile, but his eyes don't come out too full of rage so he counts it as a win.

In his head the scene picks up. The delivery guy, clad in a kilt and now shirtless- because his mind likes to imagine the worst possible scenario- is following Phil into the kitchen, his eyes hungry as he looks him up and down. 

"So you live here alone?" the guy will say. 

Phil will smile. That thousand kilowatt smile he has, the one he saves for Dan usually but this guy is all of his captain America, manly man dreams rolled into an actual human being stood in his kitchen so how can he help himself? 

Maybe he'll forget Dan entirely for a moment, stunned by this stranger's physicality so much that he finds himself stammering "Yes- er, no. I mean, I have a housemate." 

They stick to the neutral terminology of course. The last thing they need is a story on the internet of a delivery guy who came to Dan and Phil's apartment and was told they were dating. But the neutrality of the term grates on Dan right now and he wants to rush home, stand between them and show this intruder exactly what Phil is to him. 

It's kind of primal, the urge to stake a claim, to disallow anyone else to imagine they have a chance at all in getting close to his one and only. It's wrong of him, he knows, to want to own Phil in that way, but it's a thought he can't control. 

Like he can't control the barrage of more images floating into his mind. 

At that moment his phone buzzes in his pocket with the notification that Phil has tweeted. He's tweeting about the fucking delivery man. He's clearly excited about it and Dan feels a little queasy. 

He switches to the messaging app and sends one to Phil, just to prove that he's being silly, that everything is perfectly fine.

**To Phil: Telling the whole world about your sexy delivery guy is a little creepy.**

Dan stares at him phone just long enough to seem creepy himself and reluctantly puts it back in his pocket without a response when Caspar wanders over to see what he's doing. 

"You alright bro?" Caspar says. 

"Yeah," Dan answers, probably a little too quickly. "I'm cool. Just… texting Phil." 

Caspar gives him a look. He's used to that look, it's the one that says 'I know, and I know you know that I know, but we won't talk about it'. 

"How is he?" 

"He's… fine." 

His voice comes out a little bitter. 

"Does that have anything to do with the tweet he just posted?" 

"What?" Dan says, "No, what the hell?" 

"It's fine, mate. I get it." 

Caspar pulls his phone out of his pocket. "I'm going to post that picture and show him we're having a good time too." 

"There's no need for that," Dan insists with a little choked off laugh, "you're being ridiculous." 

"Sure," Caspar says, but he posts the photo.

-

Phil still doesn't text back later, when Dan is stood near the tiny buffet table they've set out backstage. They have mince pies and Dan is tempted to take one home for Phil, to add to the codex, if he can figure out which brand they're using. 

He almost asks the woman overseeing the table and then remembers that he's kind of pissed off with Phil right now, so he doesn't. Phil, who at this very moment is probably pressed up against the kitchen counter by some invasive bodybuilding tree deliveryman. He doesn't deserve mince pies. 

-

He doesn't answer his phone later either. 

Dan tries him a few times but Phil doesn't pick up which is really not like him at all. 

"Do you need to get back?" Joe asks him, noting what must be an anxious look on his face. 

"No… It's fine." 

"Go," he says, "We're done here anyway." 

"Okay," Dan agrees, "thanks."

-

Dan gets home earlier than he thought. The traffic had been in his favour and his uber driver was a little reckless but he isn't exactly complaining tonight. 

The reckless daydreams of Phil pressed up close to a stranger's body is still there. Growing more and more vivid and dirty the closer he gets to home and by the time he arrives he's worked himself into a complete state with the idea. He's almost certain he's going to find all of his worst nightmares playing out before him when he gets back to the apartment.

He's comes through the door a little quicker than he intends and all at once he's pricking his ears for the sounds of swishing kilts. He doesn't really know what that would sound like but he's certain he'd recognise it if he did. 

There is eerie quiet, except for a rapid-fire scramble from the other room, upstairs, above his head. 

"Phil?" he calls. 

"Dan? Don't come in here!"

What the hell? Dan instantly feels his stomach twist.

"Why not?" He flings his jacket off and bounds up the stairs. "I swear to god Phil if you have that scottish prick up there I am going to--" 

He reaches the top and instantly comes to a stop, one foot still on the stair below.

Their living room is dark except for the soft glow of fairy lights. The tree sits in the designated spot, lights twinkling slowly on and off. It's bigger than their old one, with black silver and white decorations they picked out the other week to match the decor of their flat. There are already a few presents beneath it and a star sits at the top, light glinting off the sparkle of it. 

Phil is stood beside the fragrant branches, bathed in the warm white light, bouncing off the curves of his cheekbones and the plush of his mouth. He's wearing pyjamas and his glasses and he looks soft and warm and like home. He's familiar and comforting and it takes Dan's breath away. 

"What--?" 

"Damn," Phil says, "I wanted it to be done by the time you got home. I didn't even have time to put the stockings up." 

"What is all this?" 

Phil moves closer in the dim light and Dan can't help they way his arms come up to pull him close.

"I wanted to have everything decorated for when you got in, make it into a christmassy wonderland…" He huffs a bit of a laugh, "did you say Scottish prick?" 

Dan feels ridiculous looking at Phil in the glow of the christmas lights. Of course Phil wouldn't… he really is beautiful though. He could. If he wanted. 

"It's stupid," he confesses, "you know what I'm like. I thought… the kilt guy…" 

Phil laughs really loudly and gathers Dan close. 

"Were we doing it under the tree?" Phil asks, running a hand down Dan's spine. 

"Ew, No." 

Although now Phil mentions it… his mind throws up those images as well. 

"Ugh." he buries his head into Phils chest and fists a hand into his shirt at the dip of his waist. "Now I'm imagining it."

"You're ridiculous." 

Phil's hand comes up cradle his cheek, tipping Dan's head up to look at him. 

"It was the kitchen," Dan mumbles. 

"Oh," Phil looks over Dan's shoulder at the kitchenette across the way. "You have that wrong for so many reasons." 

"I do?" 

Phil nods and kisses him softly, just once. He's so warm, more so in the cosiness of their flat and the soft haze of festivity. 

"I don't want to have sex with anyone but you in the kitchen, Dan." 

Dan smiles and kisses him back, "I know. I know that really. It's just… ah, you know I can't help it sometimes, it's just how I am. A little ridiculous, when it comes to you." 

"I know." Phil runs his hands down Dan's back and dips under the hem of his shirt, "But you have nothing to worry about. I'm ridiculous about you too. I love you. Just you." 

"I love you too." 

Dan feels Phil's hands on his skin and shivers. 

"Is it out of your system now?" Phil asks, "You don't have to bend me over a counter in there or something to stake your claim?" 

Dan chuckles and relaxes into Phil's touch. "Freak out officially over," he confirms.

"Good," Phil says, lifting Dan's shirt over his head. "the tree part of my fantasy is much better." 

"Yeah?" Dan says, catching Phil's meaning and raising an eyebrow. 

"Hmmm," Phil hums, stroking a curl off Dan's forehead. "Allow me to demonstrate."


End file.
